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Addiction vs. Recovery

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If this isn’t dead on, I don’t know what is. Even though I’ve been down this road before, I feel like I’m doing sobriety better. Ever watch a movie or read a book for the 2nd time and see details you didn’t see the 1st time? Well, that’s how I’m feeling and I’m thoroughly LOVING it! I’m trying not to get caught up in the excitement of finding myself but I looked in to the mirror yesterday and didn’t want to throw a rock at my image. I told myself good job. Fck! I complimented myself!!!! I usually would’ve thought something sarcastic. This new place is feeling pretty good. Baby steps. No rushing. I’ve got the rest of my life to get to know me.

Amazing how this blogging is educational, healing, scary, exciting, keeps you accountable, offers inspiration and helps you with your fears. This is all I’ve got time for this morning. Kick a$$ today!

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Looks like Josh Hamilton has his priorities jacked up

Ooops he did it again! Wonder if he was upset over his current 5 year $125 million contract? I think his priorities are screwed up. His priorities should be in this order:

  1. sobriety
  2. family
  3. humility
  4. God
  5. baseball

Without sobriety he’ll lose his family and soon enough end his baseball career. I don’t think we as alcoholics understand the true meaning of humility. If we did then 2nd chances should never lead us to 3rd, 4th and other numerous chances. I don’t get why people continue to put this dude, named God above our families. God’s divine plan puts priorities in order this way:

  1. God
  2. Marriage
  3. Family
  4. Church
  5. Government

I am a Catholic but honestly, I think the whole religion is crazy. I refuse to be brainwashed into believing what is right for me because this is the way it’s supposed to be because the Bible says so! I need to do what’s right because of what my heart feels and luckily I have a conscience that can take charge when my heart is too soft and can give me the power of wisdom to know the difference between right and wrong when I’m sober.

What would I say to Josh if we were friends? I’d say a lot because we both have the same disease. I get it. But come on! Shit or get off the pot. This isn’t your first rodeo either buddy. So let me ask you these questions:

  1. WTF did you learn after the last few relapses?
  2. Aren’t your kids worth you staying clean & sober?
  3. If having accountability friends with you daily worked, why would you change that up?
  4. Did it occur to you that you also let down your whole team as well as fan base?
  5. Maybe you should google your name and add relapse too and check out the demoralizing pics all over the Internet so you can remember what this shit does to your life.

Three years ago, I went to see San Francisco play Texas. Hamilton was still playing for the Rangers and each time he took left field the relentless crowd would start in yelling awful things. You need some vodka to catch that fly ball? You want some coke to make you faster? Go cheat on your wife buddy! Mean shit. I was embarrassed that fellow Giants fans had lowered themselves down to a class that that didn’t define what a Giants fan ought to be. I was also sober at that time and thought well, if these terrible chants aren’t enough to remind him of a wicked past then this dude might have more issues than Vogue. This is a terrible disease and I don’t wish the struggles it comes along with on anyone. Outsiders are quick to judge and we can’t control that, it comes along with the territory. It sucks! It sucks to see disappointment on loved ones faces, sucks to look in the mirror the morning after, sucks to share your soul with this inside stranger who is an alcoholic and some days it sucks to try to be positive about the whole sobriety process.

Alcohol does not discriminate. It doesn’t care what age, gender or religion you are. It stands there waiting with open arms, invites you in and goes for the kill. The fight isn’t easy but the fight is worth it. TKO!!! Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee when you fight for each day of sobriety……

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 A man who views his world at fifty the same way as he did at twenty, has wasted 30 years of his life- Muhammad Ali

Don’t be that person that wakes up realizing you’ve wasted 30 years of your life. Remind yourself every damn day you are fighting and count each day. Live like a champ!

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