Bitch Slapping My Inner Alcohol Abuser

I’ve spent the last 6 days organizing cupboards, drawers & closets like an OCD mad woman on crack! Throwing away stuff I didn’t know we even had, forgot about or no longer need feels sooooooo good. As I organize a section in my home, I come up with more ideas after the organizing. This cleaning mode has given me a “high” I need to feel like I’m in control. It’s weird.

When drinking takes control over me, I fight back. I need control over something as I work towards infinite sobriety. It’s simple. I bitch slap my inner alcoholic by taking on a project, idea or situation I immediately can control. My victim currently is organizing my home. Seems healthy, right?

There are signs that pop up as I’m going through 12 years of  stuff that collects while living & having kids under one roof. I sift through books to keep and discard. Amongst them are about 8 sobriety related books that I used as reference, self help or to educate myself when I sought alcohol treatment in 2009. Also with those books, were books from Dean Karnazes on running and several wine related books. One that made me laugh was “Wine For Dummies”. My husband works in the wine industry and that’s why those are in there.  Separating the books, I think about me being excited I founds these again because I need to consistently remind myself daily that I have a drinking problem. Others signs that tripped me out were finding at least one congratulations or encouragement card in random drawers around the house. I put all of these together in a bin so when I struggle, I can look at them.

The day count is getting bigger! Day 18 of sobriety. Go me! Lol I meet with my therapist later this morning which I find enlightening and I always leave there with a few new perspectives. Sobriety is feeling awesome!

 

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